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One Size Don't Fit All

from In Praise of Crows (2021) by Bob Leslie

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about

A plea for tolerance in a harsh and unforgiving age. That sounds awfully serious, but my intention is to raise a wee smile or two.

lyrics

Big Bum Bella had a skinny little fella
His name was Moustache Sam
She shook like a jelly on a gyroscope
And he looked like a matchstick man
Ah, people talked, as they always do, said
“Who’d have ever thought of teaming
up those two?”
Well, Bella and her fella just took a bow together
And this is what they sang:

One size don’t fit all
Short, fat, skinny, or tall
We come in different shades
Swing in different ways
One size don’t fit all
The other half of your orange
Might be a grape or a melon ball
Even ugli fruit can look quite cute
‘Cos one size don’t fit all

Sergeant Stan was a tough policeman
He lived with Sydney Shine
Stan played football on a Saturday
And Syd liked dress design
You’d never have guessed that they’d get on
But they both liked Abba and Celine Dion
Like the Ancient Greeks they’d sing this song:
One size don’t fit all

Old Fred Slade was eighty-eight
When he married his Honey Bun
She’d just turned thirty, talked kinda dirty
And they seemed to have a lot of fun
Well his doctor warned him ’bout his amorous bride
Said sex was virtual suicide
Said Fred “Well, if she dies, she dies!”
One size don’t fit all

You mustn’t criticise it
One size don’t fit all

credits

from In Praise of Crows (2021), released March 15, 2021

license

all rights reserved

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Bob Leslie Glasgow, UK

Bob Leslie's music is now available on a "NAME YOUR OWN PRICE" basis!
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“I can think of no other songwriter who has mined this rich vein
with such lyrical ease and with no mean ear for melody. ”
Alan Reid, Battlefield Band ... more

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